Overcoming fears

Once again a happy little boy!

Cale and I returned home after a wonderful holiday to find a large hole in our bathroom ceiling. We had reported a leak to our landlord before heading to Fredericton, and the plumber had come to investigate while we were gone. During Caleb's bath on our first night home, the leak began again and this time the drops landed right on his head. Not surprisingly, this scared him quite a bit and we cut the bath short due to tears.

Prior to this, I had been a bit hesitant to use the word 'scared' with Caleb. I guess I was worried that he would start being scared of lots of things and thought I could somehow postpone this emotion for awhile. Over Christmas, however, I read a great book - The Happiest Toddler on the Block. I had asked for this, since I really enjoyed the Happiest Baby on the Block book, and thought I could learn some more tips on how to raise a respectful, confident and happy toddler. The book emphasizes the importance of helping toddlers express a range of emotions, and shares some tips on helping them overcome fears. This turned out to be very useful information for me, as on our second night home, Caleb absolutely refused to go anywhere near the bath tub. He was scared of the drips and the hole in the ceiling. He clung to me harder than he ever has before, and as big tears rolled off his cheeks, I suggested skipping bathtime that night.

The next night was the same thing, but now I was encouraging him to talk about it. 'I'm scared of drops' he'd say, and although the rational part of me wanted to just say there was nothing to be afraid of, I really tried to sympathize with him. 'I know you are scared of the drops. That wasn't nice being dripped on, was it?'. I tried to tell him that the problem was fixed and there would be no more drips, but he still wasn't going anywhere near the tub.

The next day, I tried a new approach. First off, I pinned a towel to the ceiling to cover the hole ('mommy fix it')...but I knew that wouldn't be quite enough. So I told Caleb that we needed to do some 'magic' to make sure there would be no more drips. We entered the bathroom together and loudly cast our spell on the ceiling 'Hocus Pocus! Abracadabra! NO MORE DRIPS!'. Cale really liked this, and asked to go to the bathroom and do 'hocus pocus' several times that day. Thankfully, last night his confidence had returned and he happily played in the tub. I did get in with him, as one last security measure, but tonight I know he'll be fine on his own. He is still talking a lot about the ceiling, the drips and how mama fixed it, but his fear has passed.

Lessons I've learned from this - take baby steps and don't just brush away fears as being no big deal. They are very real and scary to your toddler. Talk about emotions, and don't shy away from using the word scared. It helps when your little one has the words to explain how they feel. And when all else fails, cast some magic spells! I'm sure I'll be using these tricks for years to come.