Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Solving our sleep troubles

Another photo from the vaults. Seriously time to fix my camera.

After finally accepting that Caleb's sleep troubles were not going to solve themselves, I knew it was time to take action. A friend sent me 'The Sleep Sense Program' a book, or pdf file in this case, that lays out plans to help babies and toddlers sleep through the night. Much of the content I had read elsewhere - make sure you have a consistent bedtime routine, encourage an attachment item.... - but this book had a clear 10 day plan for teaching your toddler to sleep. What I felt was different about this book was the option to cry it out while you stayed in the room. After two years of serious sleep deprivation, I was ready to give it a try. Sleeping is one thing I can not show Caleb how to do. I knew it was time for him to learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep on his own.

Here was the program:
Day 1-3: sit beside your toddlers bed.
Day 4-6: sit in the middle of the room
Day 7-9: sit by the door
Day 10: you should be able to say goodnight and let the baby fall asleep on their own with no tears involved.

Rules:
- Don't cave into their stall tactics (asking for water, etc, which Caleb is a master of).
- If they get out of bed, put them back in and tell them they need to stay in bed and if they get out again you will leave. If they get out again. Leave the room and close the door for 5 minutes.

I'm 5 nights in and here is how it has gone for me:

Day 1:
Cale was not impressed. He begged/cried for nearly an hour to get me to lay down on the floor beside him or to let him come into our room. At one point he even promised 'I'll close my eyes in mommy and daddy's room, I'll close my mouth!' Needless to say, night one was not easy. However, knowing that his tears were from being frustrated by not knowing how to fall asleep, as opposed to feeling abandoned or scared, made all the difference in the world to me. He could literally reach out and touch me I was so close to him, so he knew he wasn't alone. He did get out of bed a couple of times meaning I had to leave the room for a total of 10 minutes. After about an hour and 20 minutes he was asleep. He stayed asleep until 4 am, which was already a big improvement from his usual 11 pm-midnight wake up.

Day 2:
The book states that the first night is the hardest. In my case, the first 2 nights were the hardest. Cry time: 45 minutes. Falling asleep time (after he was done crying): 15 minutes
He got out of bed only once. He slept until midnight, I brought him back to bed and he immediately fell asleep until 6 am. Not bad.

Day 3:
Cry time: 5 minutes. Falling asleep time: 15 minutes. SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! 8 pm-6 am. Only a week ago, I honestly did not think this was even a possibility for us.

Day 4: Move to middle of the room
Cry time: 2-3 minutes. Falling asleep time: 25 minutes. Woke up at midnight, I put him immediately back to sleep. Slept until 5, I let him sleep with me until 7. Fatal mistake? We'll see....

Day 5:
Cry time: 0 minutes! Settling time: 15 minutes.

Woohoo! I'm starting to feel in control of my life again and evenings are no longer the hardest part of my day. I think we are really, really on our way towards having a toddler who consistently sleeps through the night. Which means mom and dad will also sleep through the night and I'll be feeling like a brand new woman in no time!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Soooo glad this is working for you.
Maureen

Kathy said...

Ash, I am very very happy that this is working! Keep at it!! Learning to fall asleep is a skill and he is learning so well! Don't regress! :-) I am excited that you have found something that works!