My little guy on his birthdayTo cry or not to cry...that is the question that plagues all new parents during the first year of a babies life. We have been determined not to let Caleb cry it out at night and have instead spent many hours by his bedside patting and bouncing him to sleep. We usually see some progress using this method, but ultimately within a week or so, he is back to waking up every 1-2 hours which means I end up bringing him back into bed with me and we find ourselves right back at square one. Now that Caleb is one and I'm back to work part time, the exhaustion has once again caught up with me and we have decided to try the 'cry it out sleep training method'. I've been against this in the past because it just seems like a really harsh way for a baby to learn to sleep - crying until he is exhausted enough to finally pass out...it just didn't seem like a good way to form positive sleep habits. But, after a year of co-sleeping and frequent waking, we were ready to try anything. My goal is to get a 3 hour stretch of sleep. 4, 5 or 6 hours seems like asking too much at this point...so 3 is what I'm really, really hoping to achieve. I know that sounds crazy, but a mom is allowed to dream!
Birthday suit
So, we tried sleep training. Tuesday was our first night (3 nights ago). Here's how it went.
Night 2 - similar story. Awake after 1 hour, cried for 20 minutes, back to sleep until 3...cried for 20 minutes then slept until 6. Quick feed, sleep until 7:30. Ok...we are really making progress.
Night 3 (last night) - not so good. We had been told by friends that the first 2 nights are the worst..but not in our case. We had a similar start to the night, but at 1:30 he cried and cried and cried. We went in to reassure him we were still here every 20 minutes, but after an hour I'd reached my absolute maximum time and went in to feed him at 2:30. I honestly felt like I had failed...like I was doing something really wrong by breaking down and feeding him, but this morning I see things a bit differently. I think that parents need to remember that there is no Right way to do things, and that you have to trust your own intuition. You can't really fail as long as you are trying to do what feels best for you and your baby. Yes, after 3 nights he still isn't sleeping through the night, and I am still longing for my golden '3 hour straight sleep'...but leaving him to cry for longer last night really felt wrong, so feeding him was the best thing at that time.
I think we just need to keep taking it night by night, trying to give him lots of chances to fall asleep on his own, and when it just isn't working, going to him and helping him however we can. Maybe tonight will be great, maybe it won't. I really don't believe there is a magic '3 night solution'. I think going gradually works best for Caleb, Alan and I and I know that one of these days we'll have a baby (and a mama) who sleeps through the night.
I think we just need to keep taking it night by night, trying to give him lots of chances to fall asleep on his own, and when it just isn't working, going to him and helping him however we can. Maybe tonight will be great, maybe it won't. I really don't believe there is a magic '3 night solution'. I think going gradually works best for Caleb, Alan and I and I know that one of these days we'll have a baby (and a mama) who sleeps through the night.
Alan playing to a packed house at the 'Bluegrass Brunch' last weekend
3 comments:
Hi Ash! Keep your spirits up, it does get easier! I remember the first few times letting Monica cry until she slept and I always felt sick. But then going in in the morning she would always have a big smile and those guilty feelings melted away! You are teaching Caleb a wonderful skill and empowering him to sleep on his own! :-) lots of love!
Hey, hang in there with the CIO! Bobby and I started this a few weeks ago with Sam (he's so little I know) and he's done beautifully with this method. Honestly, a few minutes of crying it out is waaaaayyyy less crying than he would do if he did not get his sleep (he is seriously one insanely cranky baby when he's overtired!). We started with 5 minute intervals, increasing the minutes at each interval and patting his bottom and singing him songs (just letting him know that we are there). He often doesn't actually cry, just sort of fusses it out. If he would actually start sobbing, we would pick him up and/or I would give him a top up of breastmilk. Now he can sometimes get in 8 hour stretches of sleep (it's usually 5-6 hours though) and will often sleep from 7 p.m. until 7 a.m. with one feeding throughout the night. Naps are pretty awesome too with this method...he will often fuss for half a minute and he's out like a light.
Hey Ash, what about putting Caleb in your room in a portable crib/basinette so that you can reach you hand in to touch him quickly when he fusses...This works for Alexis, however I have no idea how you move the crib towards the door and across the hall! haha! Maybe he could be consoled by you singing to him as the next step before going out to his own room?
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